I hope the real GREs aren't like this

Since the non-essay part of the GRE (Graduate Record Exam) are only 60 something questions total, it's more important that any one of them is ... improper.


SPHINX : PERPLEX

(a) Oracle : Interpret
(b) Prophet : Prepare
(c) Siren : Lure
(d) Jester : Astound
(e) Minotaur : Anger


Okay, this question is only forgiven for 2 reasons:
1) This was a practice exam by Kaplan. Obviously it's here because they wanna prove how easy it is to "game" the test because, "don't be fooled!" by the fact that 4 of them are of religious/mythical significance.
2) Well, I guess all Classically-trained American schoolchildren should have learned about Sphinxes and Sirens and Minotaurs at their high-real-estate-taxes, well funded public schools, right? But wait! Answer me this!

SUN WUKONG : SUTRA

(a) NuWa : Egg
(b) King Wen : Fishing Pole
(c) Buddha : Lotus
(d) BaiSuZhen : Demon
(e) Tian : Heaven

If that was on the GRE would people's complaints be legitimate? Okay, well, I think even if


WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT : 16TH AMENDMENT

(a) Martin Van Buren : War of 1812
(b) George Washington : Cherry Tree
(c) Grover Cleveland : 18th Amendment
(d) James Madison : Bill of Rights
(e) Alexander Hamilton : Federal Reserve Bank

was on our ALL-AMERICAN GREs, there would still be complaints. Most likely "wow I didn't think I needed to know any history!" Okay, sure, this isn't the ACTs, but when was the last time you used words like Fecundity, Diluvial, Mawkish or Jejune? Why is unnecessary history any worse than unnecessary English? How are either of these things predicting how well I'll do in grad school in my first year?

I guess the true genius of the GREs/SATs is, how well can you "game" the test? Failing that, how many fancy dictionary words can you memorize for the span of 4 hours? Wow! That many!? You've obviously got the skills to pass the Bio101 final, you're in!

For $1,200 Kaplan will teach you how to "game" your GREs.
Kaplan knows, it's not about innate ability, heck, my scores were perfect but I couldn't get into college because I was a jew.
Kaplan knows, if you had $1,200 to throw around, you're gonna do good in life, kid. Start a business in your own basement if you don't. repeat until you can.

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*Kaplan Knew... my hero passed away August 23, 2009.